I procrastinate. Or, rather, I used to.

Larch, 2017

I noticed this new growth on the larch tree in the front yard this spring.*

I launched this site in April 2014. Yes. Three years ago. Three. Since then, nothing.

My fellow procrastinators may resonate with this. I thought I had a great idea, but then I wasn’t sure exactly how to proceed. What to write about in these posts. How often. Whether what I wrote would be mundane. Whether anyone would care. I caved to self-doubt, the “what-ifs,” as I am prone to do.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about this blog. I’ve been in the company of fellow writers in our weekly writing group at the local coffee shop, and at two others at one of the nearby state prisons – writers who are creating daily, who are publishing. Writers who are writing, following their bliss, doing the hard work, because writing is hard.

Then there’s me. Sure, I’ve been writing. But not following my bliss, not pushing through, not doing what is hard and scary. Not like they are.

I’m not jealous. I’m inspired.

This morning I reread the initial “About Me” post here, and reminded myself what I envisioned for YSM | ink in the first place. I wanted it to be a place where I could claim my voice, help others claim theirs, be a witness, tell stories. And yes. This still is my passion.

In the three years since I began this blog, I have made my mantra: “Progress, not perfection.” It is key to recovering from procrastination brought on by suffocating perfectionism, but it’s a journey. In the last few months, I’ve also been working on noticing. Paying attention. Approaching everything I encounter with curiosity, rather than fear and judgment.

I wonder what I will discover as I write here.

Can’t wait to find out.

*”Often, in Eurasian shamanism, the “world tree” is depicted as specifically a larch tree.” [Wikipedia]  Who knew?

Advertisements