The risk it takes to blossom

Day 28 #iWriteDaily

I am in a mood.

Yesterday I learned some news that triggered such feelings of shame that it brought me to my knees. Even though I was able to see what was happening rationally for what it is, that didn’t stop the feelings from overwhelming me. In a matter of minutes I was telling myself the old familiar stories about not being enough.

That. It always seems to boil down to that.

Two steps forward and one step back. It’s making progress, I guess; but at this point I hoped to have it all figured out. As if aging is supposed to bring all the answers with it.

Maybe I do have it figured out and just don’t want to accept that I have everything I need to do whatever it is that is calling me. Maybe the call is so faint (or I’m losing my hearing) that I can’t discern it. Or maybe life isn’t as tidy as I keep hoping it will be and I just have to embrace the mess that it is and make up my own answers.

Because maybe there aren’t any answers floating out there in the ether. Perhaps they are inside my enoughness, waiting to spring forth and blossom.

6 thoughts on “The risk it takes to blossom

  1. wsquared says:

    I don’t know you and I don’t know what’s calling you. I do know, though, that you are enough, and that being afraid of the call does not make you less than enough. There is no shame in being overwhelmed or in not knowing all the answers, or the best way forward. The answers are not out in the ether. They are in you, in your heart. You know that. Feel the fear and then tell it to get lost. You are ready.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Shona Moonbeam says:

    That is the human condition. As we are reminded in the Bible, casual observation reveals not the truth of our stronger connection to spirit or flesh.

    The Bhagavad Gita teaches that the Gunas, the basic forces of matter, are what do both the shameful and glorious deeds. It’s the gunas. Your true Self lies elsewhere, witnessing only.

    Let not our souls feel besmirched by the temporary transformations of the games being played by the Gunas. When we learn to associate our Selves with the highest unnamable Spirit, we become equanamous.

    Liked by 1 person

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